Parenting Young Children Through A Death

One of life's most painful lessons is that death is final, and by the time we are adult is we have come to terms with its finality. We may struggle with its inevitability, but we understand that when someone or something dies, the loss of life is permanent.

But we had to come to that realization in stages. And if someone close to your family has recently died, your young children may be struggling to understand what that means. One of the most challenging parts of parenting can be that helping your young children understand death in an age-appropriate way while allowing them to witness your grief without being confused and frightened by it.

Your approach to parenting your young children through the death of a loved one will depend on their ages. Children less than five years of age have not usually grasped the concepts time and place, so being told that someone has gone away forever means nothing. You need to talk in literal terms about things the child has experienced, and explain death in simple physical terms.

Perhaps reminding the child of how one of his or her favorite toys became old or broken and didn't work any more, explain that the deceased person's body was too old or broken to work. You may have to keep explaining that the person was broken too badly to be fixed, and the child won't be able to see him or her again.

And, as harsh as it may sound, parenting your young children through the death loved one will be more effective if you avoid terms indicating that the family has simply "lost" someone. Children that young fear being lost, and if an important figure in their lives can be "lost," they might get "lost" as well.

By the time children reach primary school, they usually understand that dying means a permanent separation, and that the dead person is gone for good. They have seen enough television violence to associate death with scary circumstances, and may have picked up messages that if they behave in a certain way, they can keep death at bay. The image of the Grim Reaper has real appeal to children in this age group because it helps them personify a very difficult concept.

At this point, effectively parenting your young child through the death of a loved one means giving him or her clear explanation of why the death occurred, whether it was natural or accidental, and that death is not a person waiting to get people.

Your children have experienced loss from a very early age, ranging from the loss of a favorite toy or having to share you with a new sibling, to the loss of a pet. They have already experienced grief, and when a significant person in their lives dies, they will experience it again. Part of parenting a young child through the death of a loved one is to encourage him or her to express her grief, and to share your grief openly without giving the impression that you are so devastated that you will no longer be able to parent the child.

Young children confronted with death will react with denial, refusing to accept its finality; guilt, thinking that if they had behaved better, the loved one would have been spared; and anxiety, wondering who will fill the void which the death has in their support system.

Parenting young children through the death of a loved one means you will have to recognize these feelings, and be there to reassure them that even though the dead person is gone permanently, they are not responsible, and you will be there to love and care for them.

Conventional Treatment Methods For the Relief of Back Pain

Conventional treatment methods for back pain patients are a large healthcare expense. Some conventional approaches focus only on the symptoms rather than the primary source of the pain. Once the source of the back pain is corrected, a patient may experience long-term relief. The following types of treatment methods are the most commonly used.

Occasionally, bed rest is prescribed for back pain patients. The downfall of this treatment method is that patients may be more likely to develop depression and experience other negative effects.

Another common treatment method for back pain is physical therapy. Certain exercises can improve the general function and strength of the spine, but may not address the primary cause of a patient's back pain.

Oral and injectable pain medications will normally function by temporarily decreasing inflammation, muscle spasm and pain. This treatment method will only alleviate symptoms, but seldom does it deal with the primary cause of pain.

One treatment method introduced over 2,500 years ago is called acupuncture. It is a form of treatment where by needles are inserted into various parts of the body, such as in ankles, knees, or fingers for the treatment of back pain.

A treatment method that attempts to correct the primary source of back pain is surgery. Some patients report significant relief of pain after surgery, but the risks involved make this option a last resort for many.

A commonly used technique is called traction. Manual traction can be performed by a therapist, utilizing their weight to change both the force and direction of pull. Auto traction is when the patient controls the traction forces by grabbing and pulling on the end of the traction table. There are other forms of traction available such as bed rest traction, underwater and gravitational traction.

A relatively new treatment method for the relief of chronic low back pain is called non-surgical spinal decompression. A highly recognized device called the DRX9000 True Non-surgical Spinal Decompression System™ [http://axiomworldwide.com/drx9000.aspx] is designed to provide pain relief for compressive and degenerative injuries of the spine. Through the application of spinal decompressive forces to these injuries, patients have found relief from their back pain problems.

While back pain is a common and debilitating condition, patients today have more treatment options than ever before.

This article is not intended nor should be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your physician before considering any medical treatment method available.

Setting up a Tape Backup Strategy for your Business

So you know a little bit about tape backup, but you're wondering how to set up a tape backup strategy for your business. Well, let's take a look at 3 simple steps to setting up a complete backup solution.

Step 1: Purchase your tape backup hardware

Firstly, purchase the tape backup hardware. If you need to perform file server backup (or Exchange Server backup or SQL Server backup) for small business, then one of the following tape drives should suffice:

* Travan cartridge drive (up to 10 Gb)

* DDS tape backup drive (up to 20 Gb)

* DDS tape backup drive with hardware data compression (up to 40 Gb)

Then purchase the necessary tapes for your backup rotation strategy. A good Grandfather-Father-Child variation will require 10 tapes or 14 tapes.

Step 2: Purchase your tape backup software

When it comes to tape backup software, one option is to use NTBackup -- the standard Windows backup program. The problem with NTBackup is that it is too hard to use. While an expert should be able to schedule backup jobs using NTBackup, what you really want is something a novice can setup in minutes.

What you really want to do is invest in some quality backup software for your business? Well, if you run a small business, you'll want to avoid those expensive brands! They're designed for large corporations. You should really be looking for software for tape backup that does everything you need, but is affordable at the same.

Look for a backup program that's designed specially for small business instead. Look for a product that is advertised as being simple to use. Remember, you don't want software that requires an expert to run it. Download a trial version of the backup software and try it out for a month or so. If everything works smoothly and you're happy with the product, go ahead and make a purchase!

Step 3: Continually perform your backups

So you've attached the tape drive to your server and installed the software. You've configured the software to run your tape rotation scheme and everything's raring to go. So how do you go about performing backups?

Well, at the end of each working day, put the tape into the drive. And as obvious as this sounds, the correct tape should be placed in the drive. For example, placing the "Week 2" tape instead of the "Week 3" tape in the tape drive will reduce the effectiveness of your tape rotation strategy! Your tape backup software should take care of the rest.

In addition, you should monitor the results of each backup to check for errors. For example, if a tape wears out and data cannot be verified, you need to take action and replace that tape. If some problem prevented a backup from completing, you need to know about it so that you can re-run the backup the next morning.

Be sure to also follow your manufacturer's guidelines for drive cleaning and maintenance.

Final notes

As strange as this seems, you should be at the mercy of your tape backup software. And the more control it exerts over you, the better! Let me explain...

NTBackup assumes that you insert the correct tape and it doesn't inform you of any errors. You are responsible for selecting the tape according to your tape rotation scheme, and the onus is on you to read result logs and discover if any errors occurred.

This means that the file backup process is tedious and prone to human error. A complete solution for tape backup should take charge of your backup strategy for you.

A tape backup software should email tape rotation instructions and the results of backups to you or your secretary, making your task far simpler and minimizing the chance of human error. Select the right server backup software and you're already most of the way to implementing a complete tape backup strategy for your business.

Four Water Saving Tips for Your Home That Conserve Energy Too

Following water saving tips at home is an important part of water conservation. Tips that save energy as well as H2O are just as welcome. Some conservation strategies will not only lower your water bills but will reduce your monthly energy bills too. Savvy consumers know that conservation isn't just about sacrifice but also about savings. These four effective conservation ideas can put green in your pocket and can help green up the environment as well.

1. Energy-Efficient Water Heaters

When looking for water conservation ideas that also save energy, think hot. Keeping gallons and gallons of H2O heated around the clock just so that it's available when wanted is a water-wasting approach, but that's the way that conventional heaters work. Heaters older than ten years are even less energy efficient. Because they are designed to deliver heat only on demand, tankless or semi-tankless heaters are far more energy efficient and can save you 10 to 20 percent on your heating bills.

2. Affordable Water-Heater Strategies

If your budget won't accommodate a new heater, wrap your existing model up in an affordable water-heater blanket and save up to 9 percent on heating bills. If you lower the heater's temperature from 130 degrees to 120 degrees, you can knock up another 5 percent off your monthly bill, or about $100 each year. Consider insulating hot pipes that run from the heater with foam for additional savings. With insulated pipes, you won't have to wait as long for hot H2O to reach faucets, showerheads and appliances.

3. Energy-Saving Appliances

Heating H2O for domestic usage accounts for up to 15 percent of an average household's monthly energy bills. Choosing appliances that conserve hot water saves energy too. Opt for front-loading clothes washers over top-loaders. They not only conserve more H2O and energy but extract more moisture from clothes during the rinse cycle as well, reducing time spent in an energy-guzzling dryer.

Operating a dishwasher and washer only when they're full can save you up to 1,000 gallons of H2O each month. When shopping for a dishwasher, look for models with soil sensors that automatically adjust the amount of hot water in accordance to how dirty the dishes are, saving both energy and H2O. Skip the hot-water cycle altogether and save around $60 each year. Tests done by the nation's leading consumer publication indicated that pre-rinsing dishes before loading them into a dishwasher is unnecessary and wastes up to 6,500 gallons per year.

4. Low-Flow Faucets and Showerheads

Installing low-flow showerheads and adding aerators to faucets is a cost-effective way to conserve water and reduce heating bills too. Showers waste gallons upon gallons, running up heating bills. Adding low-flow showerheads is one of the best water-saving tips, trimming household usage by as much as 50 percent!

The Joy Of Living In The Zone

What do people want most in the world? What is the most sought-after goal? From the moment we awaken to the moment we close our eyes at night, what is it we seek every minute of the day?

We want to feel good. The primary motivation behind every action we take is the desire to feel happy. Even when we're focused on moving away from pain, we are, in effect, moving toward feeling good-physically, emotionally and spiritually.

What Do They Get from Opera?

As a kid, I often asked myself, "Why do people engage in life-endangering activities like sky-diving, car racing and mountain climbing?" And I wondered, "Why do people choose dangerous jobs like being a firefighter, cop or ambulance driver? I was also confounded by the large amounts of money and time people spend going to the opera, rock concerts and sports events. The budding journalist in me asked, "What do all these activities have in common? What's the compelling force driving people to invest most of their precious free time, or whole lives, in these pursuits? What, in heaven's name, are people looking for?"

A Rush Is a Rush Is a Rush!

At one point in my teens, I saw the light. It's so obvious really. We want to feel! We want to feel something.

On some level we all know that life is about feeling. If we don't feel life we miss life. And, of course, the most popular choice is to feel good. Whatever way we choose to get ourselves to feel the end goal is the same: to experience the good side of life-as fully and powerfully as possible! We want to feel really alive and happy. Some people call it Joy. Some Pleasure. Some Rush, Electricity, Juice, Fire or Passion!

The Pursuit of "The Zone"

If you listen to the language of the street throughout the world you'll hear what's on the minds of most folks. There's one prevailing theme running through most peoples' conversations. They're talking about their desire to feel good. And they want to find the quickest, easiest way to feel good. I call this the pursuit of "The Zone." The Zone is the place of feeling good. It goes by many names. On a roll. In the flow. In a groove. Steamin' Jivin' Clickin' Rockin' or Cookin'. Many different names, one essence, one feeling.

What is The Zone?

Being in The Zone is when everything goes right! You feel great! You're on top of the world. Somehow you're magically in the right place at the right time and everything is working out just like you want. To be in the flow is to be dialed into your natural state of clarity, presence and personal power. It's being free of tension, worry and draining emotions. It's living with a sense of ease, vitality and deep inner calm.

The Zone is an altered state of consciousness-a state of perfect focus, peace and high performance. When you're in The Zone you are your true self. You regain your natural intuitive ability to be where you need to be to get what you want. You don't have to effort when you're on a roll. Everything just seems to fall into place by itself. You feel expanded, bigger than life. Often you revel in the exhilarating sensation of being outside your body, controlling what's happening to you from a broader point of view.

A Space of Magic and Marvels

In major Zone adventures, your consciousness moves outside the limited physical universe. When this happens, you're no longer bound by the physical laws of time and space. You can stretch-and contract-time and space to your desire, just as sports stars who make the impossible catch or dancers who fly effortlessly across the stage. You seem to have all the time you need to do what you need to do. Life is fun when you're cookin'. You feel serenely emboldened. Life becomes a game that you enjoy playing.

Jocks and Ballerinas Share a Secret

What do top professional athletes, dancers, salespeople and detectives have in common? They have refined the pursuit of The Zone down to an art! They all appreciate the value of developing a reliable way to enter The Golden Magic Zone. They know that finding a personal portal to The Flow is the key to producing consistent peak performance.

A Wellspring of Creativity

In The Zone you achieve your goals quickly because you're tapped into your natural spiritual power. You focus on a wish and it manifests almost instantly. You do the right thing immediately without second-guessing yourself. You generate boundless energy for your job, relationships and creative pursuits. You're able to relax whenever you want and simply delight in the beauty and wonder of the Now Moment. Being consistently in the groove, you miraculously transform your life into a journey full of abundance and success.

A Mystical Place

In major Zone encounters, you tap into your innate telepathic abilities. You communicate without words. You read other peoples' intentions before they're expressed. You often know what your partner is going to say before he or she utters a word. The self-talk that is always critical is no longer there to diminish you. You feel as if you can do anything-and you do. You're in the present moment. Your mind is clear. You have a sense of inner knowing that cannot be learned from a book, but is only known by accessing it directly.

Your Natural State

Such spaces are often seen as mystical, religious states. In reality, being in The Zone is just you being more you. Being in the right place at the right time is your natural state. Recognize, cultivate and relish the times when you enter The Zone. The more consciously you acknowledge, appreciate and savor the Flow, the more accustomed you become to your natural state of feeling good! The more you vibrate with the joy of aliveness, the more you will attract people and circumstances that perpetuate your stay in The Zone!

(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all media reserved.

Caste Out

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 29, 2003

I am a 28-year-old Indian lady. I am in love with a 30-year-old Indian guy for the last four years. We share many interests in common and get along well. We are both Ph.D. students.

The problem is the different communities to which we belong. We have a very complex social system and are allowed to marry only the person who belongs to our own community (caste). He belongs to a higher community than mine.

My boyfriend feels he would never be able to convince his parents for the marriage, nor has he attempted this. He strongly believes he would not be happy if he hurts his parents, so two years ago he asked me to stop contacting him. It was very painful for me, but at the same time I realized I cannot force him into a relationship.

We live in separate towns now. Until two months ago we had absolutely no contact, then he started contacting me. I know from his letters he is frustrated and lonely. Even though I stopped communicating with him, I love him with all my heart and cannot think of life with another man.

I answered his letters, which are mostly about academics, and never asked him why he broke up with me. I haven't discussed my future with him nor he with me. Things look so uncertain I am confused. Should I continue with him or not?

Reeta

Reeta, there are many reasons why people feel they are better than other people. A religious person might say we are full of pride, and our pride makes us want to feel superior. A scientist might say we are primates and primates arrange themselves in dominance hierarchies. But the reasons for social differences don't matter.

What matters is that you are revisiting a round of pain this man caused you two years ago. You are a bright, educated woman worthy of a man's love. Though you may care for him and he may care for you, he is letting something other than love make his choices.

He is not offering you marriage or apologizing for cutting you out of his life two years ago. He is wheedling his way back into your life in the same wheedling way he left it. He is coming back because he is lonesome, not because he is ready to defend you as the woman he loves.

When a person cannot swim, it doesn't mean they can jump in the water two years later unless something has changed. You need to tell him that.

If he hasn't changed, you are indulging yourself in something which can only cause you pain. If you give him a shoulder to cry on, all you are likely to get is a wet shoulder.

Wayne & Tamara

The Open Road

My name is June, and I have a friend, Mary. Mary is 45 and very overweight. We ride our Harleys together all the time. Mary wears her shirts tied up in a big knot, and her huge tummy sticks out. It is very, very unattractive and very embarrassing to me.

I watch people stare, I hear their comments, and I hate it. I'm five feet tall, petite, and I don't even wear my clothes like that. How can I talk to her without hurting her feelings?

June

June, perhaps the essence of riding a Harley is freeing yourself from scripts of conduct and norms of behavior. We all long to be free of a closed caste system where everyone knows our place. We long to express our uncensored individual self. That is what Mary gets out of riding her Harley.

You can't tell her what you feel without hurting her feelings. But letting go of the feeling that you are responsible for another's actions will give you the feeling of freedom Mary feels as she rides her motorcycle.

Wayne & Tamara

I Wonder

Hello Folks, It's Rangerrob.

I was sitting on the fence the other day, thinking about important things. Wish I could remember what they were. But I did get to wondering about a few things. Throughout the years, people seem to have created some new looks, and ideas in their everyday lives, which were not really anything we could dream up in our generation. So I have a few questions that I am curious about. Here is my list:

o Do them folks with all them piercing and chains in their ears, tongue and belly buttons get worried about our lighting storms when their outside?

o Do them gothic looking folks have problems with makeup when it rains?

o Do kids with their pants down to their knees every try out for Track?

o Has anyone ever thought to make a blinking belly button piercing for joggers to wear, for safety?

o If kids really want a fast car, why don't they get a GTO?

o Why would anyone put a lift kit on a mini 4x4 truck, when for the same amount of money they could buy a real Ford F350?

o Do avid hunters put deer fences in there yards?

o Can a rap singer, sing out of key?

o Why do so many folks drive like the world is ending, passing and speeding like there is a tornado behind them, only to meet back up with them at the first light or stop sign?

o Why is the "Blue Collar Comedy Show" only a half hour?

o And this one is personal. How come you can find every old rerun show on TV except Daniel Boone?

I know, just like you, I loose sleep over this stuff. The next time I see you sitting on a fence, I bet your trying to figure this stuff out too.

Email the Ranger anytime at ranger@rangerrob.com

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Acupuncture - An Extraordinary Healing Way

Acupuncture is often used in conjunction with moxibustion in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM). The two techniques are so closely related that they are referred to in Chinese with one word, zhenjiu -- acupuncture (zhen, needle) plus moxibustion (jiu, to burn). A new English word containing these two meanings, acu-moxa, has been coined recently.

However, the intrinsic differences between acupuncture and moxibustion make it necessary to consider their origins separately.

Moxibustion is a type of traditional Chinese medicine that treats disease and disorder by stimulating the acupoints and meridians with heat. The invention of moxibustion was directly related to the discovery and use of fire by prehistoric humans. All animals, people included, instinctively prefer warmth and dislike cold. Even plants exhibit phototaxic or thermotoaxic properties. The application of heat for healing is universal, and has been part of numerous recorded medical traditions including those of ancient Greece and Rome. At some point in prehistory, our ancestors discovered that fire could be used not only to cook their food and warm their bodies, but also to relieve or even cure their ills.

But puncturing the body with needles is by no means an instinctive reaction when one is sick or in pain. Most people prefer not to be punctured with needles, and associate needling with pain and injury. No wonder, "to give somebody the needle," means to displease or to irritate in English. Many plants and animals have taken advantage of this natural response, and evolved thorns or quills as weapons to protect themselves from attack. Needling will cause some degree of physical trauma, no matter how fine the needle or skillful the practitioner. A modern report shows that when a needle 0.2 mm in diameter, the size of modern acupuncture needles, is used to puncture a rabbit, four to twenty muscle fibers and ten to twenty nerve fibers are damaged1. The degree of trauma was much greater in antiquity, when needles were much more massive. Even in the more recent past, thick acupuncture needles, up to 2 mm in diameter, were still occasionally used.

What seems even more illogical is that acupuncture is often applied distally, rather than locally. It is clear that the direct application of warmth can relieve local discomfort. It is also clear why it may be necessary to cause further trauma to an injured area in certain situations, such as when surgery is required or a broken bone must be set. But it is by no means obvious why acupuncture often calls for needling points far distant from the location of the problem. One of the principles of acupuncture instructs: Needle the lower to cure the upper. For instance, a common acupuncture treatment requires needling LI4-Hegu, located on the hand, to relieve toothache. It would seem to the layperson that the healthy hand has nothing to do with the diseased head-- why should it be traumatized?

Although acupuncture can sometimes be painful, it causes no serious or lasting injury when carried out correctly. Many people are willing to endure the minor pain of needling in order to relieve a major problem. Unfortunately, acupuncture may seem frightening to some, especially in the West where it is often misunderstood and misrepresented. For instance, the entry for acupuncture in as respected a source as the Encyclopedia Americana contains a picture of a man's head punctured with over seventy needles. However, a properly trained and experienced acupuncturist would never needle in such an exaggerated and excessive manner.

Most surprisingly, among all the holistic systems of healing invented in the ancient world, acupuncture alone was unique to China. There are no corresponding or even similar healing systems in the early medical traditions of other cultures. Acupuncturists today still adhere to the same doctrines and manipulate needles in the same ways as their counterparts in the days of the Nei Jing, or Inner Classic of the Yellow Emperor, the earliest known treatise on acupuncture (circa 104-34 BC). Despite the introduction of painless and non-invasive methods such as acupressure or point stimulation using electricity or shortwaves, needling has remained the primary treatment method in acupuncture.

Notes and References

1. Wang Benxian, Foreign Research on the Meridians (Guowai Dui Jingluo Wenti De Yanjiu). Beijing: People's Health Press, 1984, p. 260 .

If you would like to learn classical Chinese acupuncture and its relation to traditional Chinese cultures lick on over to Bai Xinghua's site at http://www.visibleholism.com

Laminate Flooring Business - What You Need To After Deciding To Start

Before reading this article, please note that it was written for people wanting to start their own laminate flooring business in the U.S. Therefore, parts of the information in this article are useful only for those particular people.

After setting up your laminate flooring business plan and locating suppliers, several actions are required to kick off the business. First, you need to come up with a name, which you must then register with the Secretary of State, unless you are doing business under your own name. This is required so that people can identify who is the owner of a particular laminate flooring business. For information on how to register the name of your business visit the Secretary of State website for the relevant forms. In California, the website is http://www.ss.ca.gov/business/business.htm. Look for the same information for the state you want to start up your business in.

Next, you need to get is a tax I.D. or a Federal Employer Identification Number (EIN). These are one and the same thing. The EIN is required by the IRS for identifying employers. It is a must if you have employees. Even if you do not intend to have employeeds, it's helpful to obtain it. An EIN often needed for purchasing supplies and merchandise at wholesale prices. Read the IRS publication "Starting a Business & Keeping Records" (www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p583.pdf -page 3).

After you get an EIN you should consider obtaining a license for your laminate flooring business. Again, contact the Secretary of State website for more information.

If you have employees, you must contact the U.S. Department of Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA). It's a federal agency that oversees workplace safety. All employers are required to provide a healthy and safe workplace. Health and safety inspections are made by the OHSA without prior notice so make sure your workplace is always set up according to their rules. For more information visit the OHSA's website at http://www.osha.gov.

Finally, after you start your laminate business, make sure to purchase a general business insurance policy. This includes liability and other standard coverage. Get an insurance for the place of business, no matter if you own it or not. Landlord's insurance might be unreliable. If you have at least one employee, you must have worker's compensation insurance. Check with your state's insurance department to see if there are any other additional types of insurance required.

This article provides only a small overview on what you need to know before you start your own laminate flooring business.For more detailed information contact the appropriate authorities in your state.